If you are ever out early in the park and notice a little old man feeding the pigeons, take notice of him. I have and here is what I’ve observed. The man seems not to own many changes of clothes. He has frequently been spotted dressed in the same faded ill-fitting jeans and a limited variety of corduroy shirts. He is known to cover his long gray hair with a blue New York Mets baseball cap, and he always seems to be in need of a bath.
This individual has been given the moniker, Mr. Wonder, because of his modus operandi, which is to appear in the park at dawn with a full loaf of Wonder White Bread. He then begins enticing his innocent victims. Out of hunger, they flock to him by the hundreds. As he has nearly finished dispensing the bait, he usually collects four of our young ones into a cardboard box before exiting the park with them. Those taken away have never been seen again.
It is suspected that Mr. Wonder is a serial killer of young pigeons. By and large the humans of this expansive metropolis have forgotten just how good we pigeons taste. However, occasionally there will be one like Mr. Wonder who realizes that squab meat is tastier and more tender than our cousins the chickens, whom the humans devour by the millions every day. So, spread the word and don’t be baited by Mr. Wonder and his easy pickins. Or, you could end up on a plate beside some split peas and mashed potatoes.
It is illegal to kill a pigeon in New York City unless it is determined to be a nuisance.
Hi, I'm Lester Patterson,